He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
