So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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