I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
