The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
