shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize