Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
