I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
