her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
