Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
