I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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