I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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