I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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