Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
