There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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