Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
