You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
