Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
