Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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