**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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