bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
