who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
