we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
