I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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