You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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