You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
