its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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