Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
