She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize