i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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