we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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