Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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