I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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