it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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