it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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