from now on my penis is your penis
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
