is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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