I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
