There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize