Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
