She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I love you. Go after that dick
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
