I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
