Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Congratulations! We have a period
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
