I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
