Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize