Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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