The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
only you would photoshop your dick
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
