i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
PANTIES FOUND
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