Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
NoShamevember. You game?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
