I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
