best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize