he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
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