I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
