Your tits are I can't wait for
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
