I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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