is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
