We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
